Who Am I?

This is a song by Casting Crowns that has really inspired me

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

I have been thrashing an issue in my head over the last week, and basically getting into a state over it. I knew the best person to talk to was God, so I talked to Him, I told Him I was going to tell Him everything and then shut up about it.

So I told him, and then nagged Him, and kept thinking about it, and didn't leave it alone like I promised, then wondered why I felt so confused!

On Saturday I had a long journey down to Cobham on my own to visit my Great Aunt, and I had this song playing. When I arrived I was early so went for a walk along the river, and then it suddenly clicked that I had everything the wrong way around. It is not “God, why have you not helped me like You should?” but “God, why do you help me when there is no reason why you should?”

During the afternoon I was talking to my Great Aunt and she told me some of the things she has gone through in her life. They are HORRENDOUS, but when I talked to her she was not bitter, she was not resentful. She still feels pain and is a very lonely lady these days, but she does not hold a grudge, she thanks God for the good times and the seasons of blessing in her life.

For the second time in the day I felt so grateful for what God has done for me. Who am I to winge and complain and nag at Him?

refuse and recycling rangers

I read an advert in our local paper last night for “refuse and recycling rangers” which included such tasks as “walking, bending and lifting”. Why can't they just say “bin-man”?

It made me think about the labels people choose for themselves, and the claims they make about themselves. Ever heard a housewife call themselves a “domestic manager”? Or did you read about the famous nutritionist and TV presenter who has stopped using the title “Dr” because it was considered misleading?

Jesus made some pretty mad claims about himself. He used the term “I am”, which is the sacred Jewish name for God. When asked if he was the Messiah at his trial he said “it is as you say” and this blasphemy earned him the death sentence. SO... was he who he said he was? or was he a complete nutter?

This is not new thinking, plenty of folk have come to the conclusion that you cannot separate Jesus teaching from the claims he made. If you respect his teaching, that must include the bit where He calls himself the Son of God. Or if you cannot swallow that, then such a megalomaniac claim must seriously undermine everything else he said.

As I have said before, either Jesus is all true, and worthy of my worship. Or he is all wrong and totally irrelevant.

So, what about what he calls us?
Do you accept Jesus and not believe what he says about you?
We have been forgiven, we have been called his friends and his family, we have authority in the spiritual realm, we are temples of the Holy Spirit and more............

We are in the strange position of being worthless/useless/hopeless compared to an awesome and righteous God, and at the same time forgiven and given hope and status and promises of inheritance beyond our dreams. If we will not accept what Jesus says about us, we are calling him a liar, and even as believers we are cutting ourselves out of what he promised. Scary.

knowing Jesus in simple things

Recently a group of us went out into the country in the dark and built a fire and spent a couple of hours singing and praying and sharing. I found it so restoring to do something so simple and spiritual, to be away from buildings and the way we usually "do meetings"

Looking into the fire it reminded me of how, after Jesus had risen, he built a small fire and cooked breakfast for his disciples on the beach. If I had wanted to show myself to people I would have gone in for some undeniable signs and wonders- like splitting a few mountains in two or sending a legion of angels and a few thunderbolts. Jesus chose to do something simple and take the time to restore the broken hearts of the disciples. Pentecost came later, and then were the signs and wonders and power of God.

For our own lives, it made me think how we need to know Jesus in the simple things, the humble things, to have a deep relationship with him in our own hearts. Then later, building on that foundation, we can move in the signs and wonders he has promised......

What is a hypocrite

Christians are often accused of being hypocrites

This is what the dictionary calls a hypocrite

hypocrisy noun (hypocrisies)
1 the act of pretending to have feelings, beliefs or principles which one does not actually have.
2 the act of concealing one's true character.

This is some of what Jesus said about hypocricy

So that all kind of means that a hypocrite is someone who does not practice what they preach, someone who is all talk but no action.

BUT is it the same as someone who has high ideals yet struggles to keep them? This is what the apostle Paul said about struggling with sin:

SO what is the difference between an honest struggle and hypocrisy?
I think I find my answer in songs like this:

Lord I did it again,
It all ends up the same.
Slipped, tripped, stripped of the kingly robe you gave me.

But I turn to you for forgiveness
Asking Father display your mercy
I stretch out my hand
And get up and make a stand

To see Jesus reign in my life
To always walk on the path of your truth
To fight to the end even when it gets dark
To trust in you...
©NCCC

I think the difference comes in our honesty before God and before other people. A hypocrite believes they are OK, they are living by their own rules and do not let the guard down to let anyone see what they are really like.

When we are honest about our shortcomings we allow God in to forgive us and people around us to support us. If one man has a map and another has a torch, are they not better off working together than pretending they are OK on their own in the dark? The information on the map is not invalid because you cannot see to read it, but you have to be humble enough to admit you need help.

I don't think God is made smaller by our failings- it points to his immense grace and patience and love that he helps us along the path and does not jsut blast us off the planet as incompetant failures.

That is why I think hypocrisy is wrong- because it makes ourselves bigger than we are and in self-sufficiency turns its back on God.