about celibacy

This is an amazing quote about celibacy:

Celibacy is daring. Choosing to be celibate means giving up earthly security, it means you are free to love Jesus recklessly. It's a massive choice made by us in response to His massive love for us. We do it because we love Him and love what He loves, which is the church.

Two rings

I was talking to a celibate friend recently, and I commented that I liked the woven silver ring she wore. She told me how she has had several silver rings since she has been celibate as she keeps losing them... one fell onto the railway line as she waved someone goodbye at the station, one ended up in someone's dinner... and so on. She says she will probably keep hold of this one as it is a good fit :-)
Another friend wears three rings. I asked her why this was and she explained that one was an "engagement ring" which she started to wear when she first came around the church because she was impressed by celibacy but did not feel brave enough to go for it (yet). Then there was the one she wears for taking her vow, and the third was a "gift from God" to her. I wish I could remember the story behind the third one, but apart from thinking it was lovely at the time she told me I can't remember.

When I spoke to the first sister I came away feeling that maybe I was a little too superstitious because as a new celibate I got very upset when I damaged my first ring.
When I spoke to the second sister I was re-assured because I now wear two rings, and the second ring has significance to me.
Maybe the balance is something between the two.... Having a ring does not make us more or less celibate, (or more or less married come to think of it). However having something physical to remind us of our commitment and promises is very helpful. (That's why we have sacraments in the church, but that's another topic)

So this is the story behind my second ring....

In 2011 I had been celibate for 14 years, which was quite an achievement.
At the end of 2010 I had written a letter to some married friends I trust very much laying out all of the sins and turmoils in my life in the area of sex and relationships. It was very hard to be so honest, but a very precious time also as they prayed for me about those things. So, following on from that, at new year 2012 I felt God calling me to a time of consecration for 40 days from then until my birthday.
Those 40 days were not all filled with amazing spiritual revelations and closeness to God, but I did feel Him speaking to me on a couple of occasions during that time.
In particular he showed me a ring with some words engraved on it "strong, pure, clean, confident"

At the end of those 40 days I felt I should buy a new ring to confirm all God had been saying and doing. (I bought it from Amazon with my birthday money).
At first I swapped the rings over and wore just the new one 'cos someone said you should not wear mixed metals. Then I realised that I was not "making a new start" by wearing a new ring. The old ring represented the past struggles, which although they were now healed are still a part of my character/history. God has proved himself faithful through those times even if I was not faithful and I do not want to discard the old ring.
The new ring represented a confirmation of my vow, and a new strength, and all the words God showed me which I do not want to forget.

Vision

This is a vision I had last night at the celibates meeting:

We had been worshipping with songs and then in the quiet with people speaking to God in tongues when someone started up the song “Jesus, all for Jesus”

I was singing (as I often do) with my hands held clasped in front of me. I felt God asking me to reach out one closed hand to Him, and then to open it up. I did this very slowly and I felt God place a new celibacy ring in the centre of my palm. It was much bigger and heavier and thicker than the ring I wear, infact more so than a typical ring anyone would wear, and made of iron rather than silver.

I did not know what God meant by this, but it was awesome.

As the evening went on I gained a sense that God was saying “You are going to find there is more to celibacy than you have known so far.”

Lust for Posessions

This is an extract from a book on celibacy by AW Richard Sipe.

I did find this book a real revelation when I first read it and this passage particularly spoke to me:

Recently, a celibate priest shared from his own experience an example of the interrelatedness of celibacy and material things. Once in a supermarket, food shopping for the rectory table, he had a kind of epiphany. He was tossing items into the cart with abandon, guided by his own taste and what he thought were the gastronomical and brand preferences of his associates, when he notices a parishioner- the mother of three children- also shopping. She was too engrossed in her enterprise to notice him or anything else. She was comparing the prices of brands, rechecking her coupons, pausing thoughtfully in front of certain sections, shaking her head “no” before moving on empty handed.

He told me that “the sight of her, at a moment when the biggest decision in my life was whether to buy the imported Swiss or the French Roquefort” focused a bright light on him and his celibacy. From that time on, he said, he realised that his celibacy was more than simple sexual abstinence. He said, “I knew then that celibacy is a way of loving that has to affect every aspect of how I live.” The mother of three was an unknowing grace for the priest who continues to meditate frequently on what she had taught him.

Desire- how we hesitate to call it lust- for things (such as seemingly necessary, good, and useful things like house, car, boat, even res eccleiasticae like church, rectory, vestments) can be a means to celibate undoing. This is not nihilistic doctrine. Notice that I emphasised desire. It has to do with us, heart and mind. Just as celibates do not interact thoughtlessly with others, they cannot interact thoughtlessly with things and maintain integrity at the same time. Radical self-honesty about our desires for possessions is a vital as it is with sexual desires. The goal is honesty freed from rationalisation, or denial...

Some priests compromise their celibacy eventually by an indirect path. Sexual temptations are resisted for long periods of time, while, almost imperceptibly, the foundations of celibacy are eroded as the lust for things is indulged either with a thoughtless abandon or sometimes as a kind of occult compensation for sexual deprivation. “Poor me” or “I deserve it” are attitudes that should bring a person to renewed intensity in prayer. Left unattended, these feelings will corrode celibacy from the inside.

Celibacy Testimony- Part Three

Part Three- The Blessings

Well, it has taken me a while to get around to writing about the blessings of celibacy, but that does not mean I am having to scrape the barrel to find them!

The thing with the blessings of celibacy is that the gift is not like a slot machine, it is not like you post so much in and you get so much back out. The gift is a lifestyle thing, and it is a tool or path towards a fulfilled and blessed life, but not a guarantee or a free plane ticket to paradise. This means that the blessings are harder to quantify and identify.

One way to think of the blessings is to think of all the things that I am now doing that I would not be able to do if I was not a celibate. The biggest one is that I work in one of our kingdom businesses and I have quite a responsible job, if had got married the likelihood is that I would have kids by now, and so would not be working any more. Working in the business is one ministry that I would have had to give up to be a wife/mother. Working in the business has also been a big training ground for me, and it gives me the opportunity to input the girls who work in the department, and not being somone who is mega out-going and popular I do really appreciate the contact with people that I would not normally meet.

I would also dare to say that there is an intimacy in worship that a celibate person can reach into that is not the same for a married person. Not that married people do not experience deep and intimate worship, but it will be more so for a celibate person. When I sing “Jesus, you are my first love” or “You are my passion” I really do mean it, and despite what I said about it not being a slot machine, there is a measure that God does honour the sacrifice and especially bless celibates who seek his presence.

Celibacy Testimony - Part Two

The struggles

Why do I want to talk about the struggles with celibacy?

Because I don't want to paint a rosy picture that is not true, because I believe in being honest and because I honestly believe that the struggles can be won and it is possible to live in the celibate gifting long-term.

There are kind of two ways that the struggles come: Struggling with the “sex, hormones and emotions” side of it (a bit like the hunger pangs when you are trying to fast) and struggling with the “spiritual” side of it (a bit like when you mean to fast and pray, but then don't actually get any praying done).

I think the biggest battle that all celibates face is keeping the gift alive. We have made the sacrifice and chosen the life for a purpose, but it is so easy to let it slide into merely “un-marriedness” and live an ineffective boring life- just without a partener. The celibate life is meant to be a power source within. It is mean to spring out of passionate love for Jesus, and spur us into passionate acts of love, service and devotion to Him and the Church, for the Kingdom sake.

But enough of the theory, this is me:

There have been some big battles on the “sex, hormones and emotions” side of things. I don't want to go into details 'cos it implicates third persons- which is not fair. What I can say is, being celibate does not make you immune to falling in love with someone, it does not make you immune from other people falling in love with you, it does not mean you will not get hassled/abused/assaulted.
After all the battles I still call myself a celibate. I still claim and hold onto the purity of the gift, and to be honest I have become more stubborn in my determination to hold true.

To live as a celibate day to day there are of course choices to be made to be sure I am not doing anything that would undermine my celibate gift. Celibacy is more than “not having sex”, it is about being set apart for Jesus and being pure and holy in body, soul and spirit.
I have to be very careful about what I read because I have the kind of mind that does not forget things easily. I do not read novels, and I often have to stop reading and turn the page in the newspaper. I would not watch a film that would fill my head with stuff I can do without.
Also, if I look at someone and think “hmmm” then I have to look away quick smart. If I am in a meeting and seem to be shading my eyes from the lighting, it is more likely I am deliberately blocking my view of a person who is distracting to me! I know what fashion or physique I find striking, and I chose not to feast my eyes on that.
I do not have any blokes numbers on my phone (except leaders and work numbers) so there isn't the tempatation to send or receive txt messages that could border on the over-familiar.

One of my biggest struggles is feeling lonely sometimes. Little things like not having someone to stand with in a queue, or no-one saving you a seat in a meeting, or being on your own at a family wedding/funeral. Those things get to me, they make me feel “If I had a husband, he would look out for me.” Its at times like this I have to remember that I do have a husband- and He is more faithful to me than any human could ever be. I also have to remember that God did ask me “What if I never give you anyone especially for you...?” and I chose that choice.
Having a wide range of wholesome friendships really is a life line to a celibate. It is also, when you think about it, what celibacy is all about: Choosing not to have one person specially there for you, so you can be there for lots of others. Celibate life should over flow in a wide range of relationships.

Other celibates who give up the vow is one thing that I do find really really hard, especially if it is someone I look up to or someone I esteem for enduring the hard times. I could have given up my vow at one point, but I realised that if I love someone then I would want the best for them, and the best for them would not be me. We had some teaching about being married for God once, and that helped me conclude that I could not build a marriage vow upon a broken celibate vow. There is a bit in one of the “Hawk and the Dove” books where Brother Tom runs away for a woman , and comes back because he knows he cannot vow to her when he is already vowed to God. I was so amazed when I read that because that was how I felt about things, and there it was in print!

Having said that, I know celibates do leave their vows, for many and varied reasons, and there is grace for people to be restored and re-find their place in the church. But... I know a lot of people who have been really hurt by those who have turned back and I do not want to hurt people like that. I know people who will not consider the celibate gift, or do not respect it because so many have turned back. That's really sad, and I would not want to cause someone else to struggle because of what I have done, because I have not been true.

Celibacy Testimony - Part One

This summer I have been celibate for 10 years.

I took my vow on 17 August 1996, but I don't count the first year 'cos I found things really hard and I “restarted” in August 1997.

This is the beginning of a few blogs about the celibate life, starting with how/why I became celibate.

Once I had graduated from uni and moved into community I was pretty desperate to know wether I would be celibate or married, at 23 years old I thought I was getting on a bit(!!) and needed to know which way I was going. I would now advise anyone to wait until they have matured a bit in their gifts 'cos then it will be clearer wether your gifts/ministries would be best used as a married or as a celibate person.

I spent quite a lot of time thinking about marriage and about celibacy. I remember when I was first in the church trying to look really holy when I was worshipping so the brothers would think I looked like a good choice for a wife. Then someone told me that I carried a celibate spirit when I worshipped and I stopped worshipping for a while!

I think I knew deep down in my spirit that when I was baptised and made covenant with this church, that community and celibacy would follow. I have always felt that either God is no real and worth nothing, or He is real and He is worth everything. This did not stop me falling for someone in the Christian Union at university. Afer we had spent an evening kissing on the sofa he asked if we could pray, and prayed along the lines “Thankyou God for this Christian girlfriend whom I hope will one day be my wife”. I had to quickly explain “erm.... I think I should tell you that I'm pretty sure God has called me to community, and maybe to celibacy, sorry for messing you around but....”

In one of the presentations the church used to do (“Bleeding Life”) there was a short video of familes in a shopping centre and the Dads had their kids on their shoulders. I had a lot of issues about that 'cos my Dad was not very affectionate like that. In time I got healing over the “Dad thing” and then one meeting, out of the blue, I felt God was asking me “What if I never gave you anyone especially for you?” God never said “I want you to be celibate”, just “What if.."

One particular day I went for a walk and thought/prayed about all the advantages and disadvantages of both marriage and celibacy. I needed to know what, for me, would be the cross and the blessing and the pitfalls of each. In the end the conclusion I came to was that, for me, celibacy would be a goad, it would make me responsible for my own walk with God and motivate me to be active in my spiritual life. As a celibate there is no-one for me to hide behind or lean on.

When I went to my first celibates meeting the friend I went with kindly got us seats right at the front of the meeting. The worship and teaching were amazing. Then at the end Noel said for those who wanted to receive the gift to stand up. I thought, “I can't, my spirit will explode if I do that” then I heard (one of the few times I have audibly heard) God saying “Well, I'll bless you where you are then” and in that moment I received an anointing of laughter and shaking. It was a release of the Holy Spirit like I had never known before. I was staying at another community house that night, with people I did nt know that well, and in the car I was still laughing and shaking and I was thinking “God, this is so unlike me, what is going on?” and He said (audibly again) “I am just taking your fears away”.
I think if I did not respond to a confirmation like that then I would be more than a bit dense!

The celibate meeting was in October 1995, and it took me until November to talk to my shepherd about doing a probationary year. (I am not very good at talking to people about what is going on) In August 1996 I knew the gift was me. I was prompted by another sister of my age taking her vow to tell my shepherd that I had made my decision. It was thundering that evening and the house was full of visitors so we had to go for a walk to talk. The community house I lived in then was on the edge of the red-light area so it was a bit bizarre in the heavy rain with prostitutes on the corner to be talking about committing myself to a celibate life. Anyway, when we got back to the house he and his wife prayed for me in their bedroom, and I prayed to God what I wanted to say to Him. When I had done that it felt amazing, not as emotional as the celibate meeting, but I still went around with a grin like a Cheshire cat for a week after. I was TOTALLY in love with Jesus. About a month later I had a celebration (bit like a wedding reception) to publically confirm the vow, the people in the house made me a card, a cake with white icing and a silver ring (tinfoil) on it, and someone wrote me a song.

My parents (who were not part of this church then) were cool about me making a celibate vow. When I rang them to tell them my Dad said “I thought you would” and Mum said “Oh, that means I won't have any grandchildren (my sister has since done the grandchildren bit). Celibates in our church often wear a silver ring on their wedding finger as a sign on their vow. Dad asked to buy my ring for me which was very special- though I don't quite know what the chap in the jewellers thought when he asked wether the ring was for a special occasion and Dad blurted out in the crowded shop “She's become a celibate- she is married to Jesus!”

letter to a new celibate

I have been reading different things about celibacy recently, and the thing I have really apreciated is when people are honest about what it is really like to live the life. It is OK to quote stuff like "sublimation of natural desires" but what you really want to know is how to cope when the chemistry kicks in and you find yourself unexpectedly attracted to someone despite all your best and most holy intentions. (If you have just read that, and know me, and now think I am in love with someone... sorry, you have just jumped to the wrong conclusion!)

Anyway... this is a letter (slightly edited) I wrote to someone when they were a new celibate, it is bluntly honest and I am posting it incase it is helpful to anyone else. (Again, if you know me don't try to work out who it was written to, 'cos you will guess wrong).

There is some stuff in the letter that is not directly about celibacy. I have left it in 'cos celibacy is not an isolated thing, it is a big part of who we are, it is inspired by our love for Jesus and it inspires our walk with him and our life and ministries in the church. To detatch celibacy from the life of the celibate would be like taking the kids away from a mother- you can't do it, they are so much a part of each other.

So, here's the letter:-

Hi

This is to reply to your letter, and try to answer some of your questions....

It is not an uncommon thing for people these days to grow up with out the support and relationships they need, and to find themselves as adults without the emotional tools or experience they need for building friendships or relationships. Not that it is necessarily any easier for knowing other people are the same, because we are all still individuals and need to work things through and find healing ourselves.

I think it is one of the beauties of this church that we can be a true brotherhood. It’s not an easy thing, but it is still amazing that God is building together this people that can love and trust each other, and also find healing in God and through Him working in us as a family, a Body. We are not perfect, but we are being made more into what He wants. I think it is because we are inspired by the Holy Spirit to dare to build close relationships that we find out more about ourselves. Hurts that would have been nicely suppressed otherwise get shown up, and we have to look at ourselves in God’s light and admit to Him who we really are. Of course, He knew all along anyway so does not reject us!

Choosing to be celibate especially opens up things that we may not have faced otherwise. It is natural for a man and a woman to get together- that is why it is happening all over the place. Not that it is any easier- there are enough failed relationships and hurt people about to make that clear. The thing is, if you are celibate you have chosen not to do what everyone else is doing, but it is not a choosing to suppress or cut off that bit of you. We still need to face up to our sexuality and then we can make a choice to surrender it to God. We are not so much saying “I don’t want my sexuality so I have given it up” as saying “Lord, I choose to make the sacrifice of not expressing my sexuality in the usual way, and I do it for You”

One thing you may need to face is whether you are homosexual or heterosexual. Everyone assumes they are heterosexual unless things are very obviously the other way around, but it may not be that clear. Maybe you might find that it is a bit confusing, especially as you build close friendships with other sisters. You might find that you love someone, and not having had much female love from your mother you might worry if what you feel is a homosexual attraction. I would assure you that it is probably not, but even if it were, the sacrifice of celibacy is the same: you are still offering to God your sexuality. The other thing is, it is not healthy for anyone to have exclusive friendships, to be so close to any one person that it excludes others. If you build with a range of people and are open in your friendships then the problem of getting too close and bordering on something that is soulish or unhelpful is less likely to happen. Again, that is the beauty of being a Body.

About sex ..... Whatever thoughts/feelings/teachings/hype/taboos there may be about sex, it is the case that God made sex! He did not look down at Adam and Eve and think “What are they up to? Quick! Stop them!” He made something beautiful and spiritual between a man and a woman. The way the world has gone means sex has become something cheap and people are often acting in lust and self-gratification, rather than the mutually serving and satisfying sharing and giving experience God created it to be.

So, what does that mean to a celibate? You are not going to be doing it, so do you need to bother getting healing in that area? I think we do need to be healed in every area as God wants us to be whole people. Also, as I said before, celibacy is a sacrifice of something beautiful, not ditching something we do not want.

Sex also often brings a lot of guilt feelings ‘cos we do not find it easy to talk about. The truth is however that we all have a sex drive, and we need to decide what to do about it. It is not wrong to have sexual desire, though what you do with it may sometimes be wrong (or less than ideal). There is no guarantee that says once you become celibate all that gets erased from you! We are not meant to be people who have shut down in any area of our lives, celibate are to be as fulfilled as married people- except for they do not have an active sex life.

So… what do you do with your sexual desires/feelings….

It does say in the Bible that to look a person lustfully is as bad as adultery. I don’t think that is to condemn us ‘cos everyone will look at someone some time and think “wow!”. I think it is said to set a standard, to show us that dwelling on lustful thoughts and encouraging fantasies is not helpful. If we choose to feed our mind with something it can become a habit, and it can colour the way we behave and respond in situations. A mind that has had a free rein lusting or fantasising about something/someone is not going to be a strong mind that can resist temptation when it comes along. The more we give in with our minds the harder it is to resist, whether it is trying to resist fantasy or trying to resist a flesh and blood person. Also, we are called to have the mind of Christ, and we are told our minds are renewed by the Holy Spirit. I don’t think either Jesus or the Holy Spirit are very at home in a mind that is like an X-rated movie, but that applies to everything we give our minds to, not just sexual issues.

In the same train of thought as fantasy are things like pornography or romantic literature. We need to take care of what we read and what we look at ‘cos that is feeding stuff into our minds that maybe we would be better off without. It has also been proven by psychologists and such people that pornography etc is addictive and de-sensitises people. This kind of proves that it is not the right things for a person who is a temple of the Holy Spirit to be getting into.

So, what about masturbation? I think a lot of Christians are very divided over this one. Many people see it as something quite natural. Some people may say it is fine ‘cos it is private, personal and does not hurt anyone else. Some people would say it is a bit like a safety valve, that you need to “let it out” sometimes. Personally, I don’t think it is right. Because we are made of body, soul, and spirit I don’t think we can separate what we do with our bodies from the effect it has on the rest of our being. I think the same as fantasy/pornography it can be addictive and it distorts what God created sex for. I don’t think we are meant to use these bits of our bodies (which God gave us to love another person in a deeply intimate way) just for ourselves. I don’t know if this is an issue for you, am just trying to give you some answers and a bit of a rounded view about the whole subject. If you do it, I think it is something you need to decide for yourself whether it is right or wrong, but remember “there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus”. A struggle we may have in a sexual area of our life is no worse than a struggle in any other area of our life. God hates pride, greed, inequality too, in fact the Bible probably says more about our hearts attitudes than our actions.

So, remember the celibate life is chosen, it is a gift to God, and it is something we will be working out for the rest of our lives (the same as everything else really!) we are not going to get there overnight, but we do have grace, and forgiveness and the Holy Spirit working with us. Don’t get condemned ‘cos you think you have fallen short- condemnation only comes from the enemy as he tried to stop us looking to God and to Jesus blood that makes us clean and pure.

One thing I do believe, is that Jesus does give us back our purity. Whatever our sexual history, wether it is things we have done or things that have been done to us, we can be washed clean and made pure. I have heard people say that said even sisters who have had abortions or have been abused can re-gain their purity and receive a spiritual virginity. (Not that I am applying it to you, I am just giving it as an example of the abundance of God’s grace.)

At the end of your letter you said about feeling abnormal or paranoid. Though these fears may have some root somewhere in your soul or past experiences they are more the kind of thing the devil would want to feed us than what God would say about us. Not to say it is insignificant ‘cos it is something real to be worked through. I would encourage you to be open, as you have been, to get prayer about things, and to let God in. The fact you are facing stuff is a good sign- you would be in a worse state if you were not open to seeing things in you. Just keep going, and keep your eyes on God.

Another big thing about building relationships is just to go for it. No-one is perfect. No-one, however confident they may seem on the outside is without insecurities or issues. We are all totally dependant on God for anything that is of any worth. Remember, only what is spiritual has any eternal value in God’s kingdom so natural charisma is probably more of a hindrance anyway.

Also, remember that we are all imperfect people building the church the best we can in God’s grace. Sometimes you will get responses off people that are bizarre, or hurtful, or wrong. That does not mean you are in the wrong, it might be their issues. If someone else shuts down on you, don’t get rejected, remember that you sometimes shut down too and try to be brave enough to give them a gentle prod to get out of it, or give them a listening ear to sort out what is bugging them. It is always going to be give and take, and I can testify to learning and receiving more from giving than from taking.

Why vow?

I was talking to someone recently about celibacy, and whilst they understood my reasons and inspiration for being celibate and could see examples of fruitful celibates in the church, they were a bit unsure about the vow. The questions was, is the vow a man-made thing? By making a vow are we going further than God intended? Are we making a rod for our own backs with that kind of “legality” when the whole thing could be done informally with a load less intensity.

To start with, God is into vows. He makes many vows or promises to the people in the Bible, and expects them to pledge themselves to Him in return. God takes vow making and vow breaking seriously, there is blessing from vow, and there is judgement for breaking vows. It is a serious thing to make a vow but I think we are poorer people if we avoid vows because of fear of commitment. But anyway, this is about celibate vows rather than the whole topic of vowing, so here goes...

If you take celibacy as an equal yet opposite thing to marriage, you could say that both states should be vowed because they are serious life long commitments. But then where did marriage vows come from?

In the Bible a couple were considered married if they had intercourse. That's why there are sentences like “so and so took knew so and so and she became his wife”. To “know” someone meant they had sex and that physical thing united them as man and wife. It also says a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one. So the intimate physical union is seen as a permanent "vow”. The marriage ceremonies came in later, with all the rules about betrothal and so on. The ceremonies were a public sign of what had (or would) go on in private.

When Jesus talked about celibacy he talked about eunuchs. He said some were born eunuchs (people who could not have sex for physical reasons), some were made eunuchs by men, and some made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven (the equivalent of celibates now). Without putting it too bluntly- becoming a eunuch meant a bloke chopping his bits off. It was a physical thing and most definitely a permanent thing. To be a celibate does not mean we have to go through physical mutilation, but the sentiment is still there that what we are doing is a permanent thing. So... in the same way that a marriage vow is a public sign of a permanent personal thing, so is the celibate vow.

Keeping on the thread of a celibate vow of the same nature as a marriage vow, when people make their marriage vows they are promising to love that person only, to be true to them, and to renounce all other loves. This is not that different to the celibate vow. We promise to be true to Jesus, to renounce any other relationship for the sake of having particular intimacy with Jesus.
In the wedding vows it also talks about raising children and building family. The celibate will raise spiritual children and build church family.

It is true that you can have a relationship and not have to get married. It is true you can live as "just single" all your life and not make a celibate vow. But in all honesty I think you would be a poorer person to live without the dedication/devotion of the vow and the endurance and character strength it takes to work that out. Going back to the beginning, God is into vows and He brings blessing with the promises that we do not experience any other way.

P is for Celibacy

We had a meeting for the celibates in the church recently, several people talked it was well inspiring. When I thought back over it I realised a lot of the stuff shared, and a lot of the stuff that inspires me, also happens to begin with P. So here it is.... P for celibacy

Purpose
Celibates are a people with a purpose, which is to build the Kingdom of God. As one person put it, their call is to “populate heaven , not earth”. The celibate man or woman is a spiritual parent, teaching and training those who are younger in their faith.

Passion
Celibates are passionate. They see the Kingdom of God and choose to put it above their highest joy. They are prepared to renounce “normal” and “acceptable” things for the sake of something higher/bigger. Think about sports stars, they are passionate about what they do, they have to train and discipline themselves to achieve their goal, likewise celibates choose to make the sacrifice to gain something they could not gain any other way

Path
Celibacy is not an aim or a goal in itself, it is the path we are on. Celibacy shapes your character, it gives you the tools for life.

People
Celibacy is about people. Because we choose to stay single does not mean we will stay isolated and cut off from people. A celibate is free to give themselves in a variety of friendships that a maried person cannot. (for example, when we have a visitor stay for the weekend they share a room with the other single folk). A celibate has chosen not to belong to one particular person, in order to belong to everyone (eek- that's well hard!)

Purity
Obviously the aim of celibacy is to be pure, to be holy in body and spirit. Not that being married means you are impure 'cos that is a different kind of purity. A celibate does however choose to set themselves aside to be dovoted to God in a particular way.

Prophetic
In heaven we will all be celibate. Jesus taught us to pray “Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” and celibacy is one way to do that, to prophetically show the life of heaven on earth. It is not the only way to do this, but a pretty good way to try to show people now something of the single-hearted worship of God that there will be in heaven.

Pioneering
Celibates are people without the ties that natural family life brings, so they are people who are free to pioneer- to try new things and go new places for the sake of the gospel. (Again, not an exlusivly celibate thing, but try moving to a new area with kids in school...)

Young Free and single!

Young, Free and Single!
sounds good doesn't it?
To be young and unattached, plenty of time on your hands and enough friends and money to really enjoy yourself. To be able to go off on holiday, date whoever you please with no strings attached and do (almost) whatever you please without any restricting responsibility or commitment...

Well, I am going to use my singleness for something even better than that!
I have vowed to stay celibate and I am going to give my life to Jesus, to building the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth and showing people life as God intended it to be.

Jesus talked about it, he said if you can live this way then go for it (full quote)

Jesus also prayed for life on earth to be as it is in heaven and he also said there is no marriage in heaven

Paul was celibate and talked about being undivided in your devotion to God. He acknowleged that marriage (rightly) brings worries with it, and he reccommended people stayed single to commit themselves to Jesus

The life I am living is "wierd" in the eyes of the average person, but that's because this lifestlye does not belong on earth- it belongs to the Kingdom of God- it belongs in heaven!

I am a celibate because I have met THE most amazing person, and He has all my love, and I want to do things with Him and for Him. I am not going to waste my life going after things that do not last. Maybe it looks like I am missing out on what the world has to offer, but you know what? I'm not interested. Heaven is going to be full of loving Jesus- and I am going to start doing that now!