Rock of Ages

Have you ever seen a young child throw a temper tantrum? Do you ever feel like doing the same?
To be able to scream and shout and say express that its not fair, you don't understand and you don't like it.
To be able to stamp and hit someone who is big enough and loving enough to cope with us until we calm calm down and let them love us and explain what is really going on and make everything in our small world all OK again.

I think we do very often hit out at those we love when we are hurt, because we need the reassurance of someone who is bigger/stronger/more able to cope, and the only way we can test if they are up to it is to push them to the limit.

Years ago I was having a stress-out at God about stuff, and it was like He very patiently pointed out to me that the Rock I was banging my head against was the One I was supposed to be leaning on. That wisdom is something I have come back to time and time again, and at the moment it is particularly relevant.

This hymn kind of expresses the need to hide in God, to lean on Him and find security in Him:

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,

Let me hide myself in Thee;

Let the water and the blood,

From Thy riven side which flowed,

Be of sin the double cure;

Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labour of my hands

Can fulfil Thy law’s demands;

Could my zeal no respite know,

Could my tears for ever flow,

All for sin could not atone;

Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring,

Simply to the cross I cling;

Naked, come to Thee for dress;

Helpless, look to Thee for grace;

Foul, I to the fountain fly;

Wash me, Saviour, else I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath,

When my eyelids close in death,

When I soar to worlds unknown,

See Thee on Thy judgement throne,

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,

Let me hide myself in Thee.

Who Am I?

This is a song by Casting Crowns that has really inspired me

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

I have been thrashing an issue in my head over the last week, and basically getting into a state over it. I knew the best person to talk to was God, so I talked to Him, I told Him I was going to tell Him everything and then shut up about it.

So I told him, and then nagged Him, and kept thinking about it, and didn't leave it alone like I promised, then wondered why I felt so confused!

On Saturday I had a long journey down to Cobham on my own to visit my Great Aunt, and I had this song playing. When I arrived I was early so went for a walk along the river, and then it suddenly clicked that I had everything the wrong way around. It is not “God, why have you not helped me like You should?” but “God, why do you help me when there is no reason why you should?”

During the afternoon I was talking to my Great Aunt and she told me some of the things she has gone through in her life. They are HORRENDOUS, but when I talked to her she was not bitter, she was not resentful. She still feels pain and is a very lonely lady these days, but she does not hold a grudge, she thanks God for the good times and the seasons of blessing in her life.

For the second time in the day I felt so grateful for what God has done for me. Who am I to winge and complain and nag at Him?

refuse and recycling rangers

I read an advert in our local paper last night for “refuse and recycling rangers” which included such tasks as “walking, bending and lifting”. Why can't they just say “bin-man”?

It made me think about the labels people choose for themselves, and the claims they make about themselves. Ever heard a housewife call themselves a “domestic manager”? Or did you read about the famous nutritionist and TV presenter who has stopped using the title “Dr” because it was considered misleading?

Jesus made some pretty mad claims about himself. He used the term “I am”, which is the sacred Jewish name for God. When asked if he was the Messiah at his trial he said “it is as you say” and this blasphemy earned him the death sentence. SO... was he who he said he was? or was he a complete nutter?

This is not new thinking, plenty of folk have come to the conclusion that you cannot separate Jesus teaching from the claims he made. If you respect his teaching, that must include the bit where He calls himself the Son of God. Or if you cannot swallow that, then such a megalomaniac claim must seriously undermine everything else he said.

As I have said before, either Jesus is all true, and worthy of my worship. Or he is all wrong and totally irrelevant.

So, what about what he calls us?
Do you accept Jesus and not believe what he says about you?
We have been forgiven, we have been called his friends and his family, we have authority in the spiritual realm, we are temples of the Holy Spirit and more............

We are in the strange position of being worthless/useless/hopeless compared to an awesome and righteous God, and at the same time forgiven and given hope and status and promises of inheritance beyond our dreams. If we will not accept what Jesus says about us, we are calling him a liar, and even as believers we are cutting ourselves out of what he promised. Scary.

knowing Jesus in simple things

Recently a group of us went out into the country in the dark and built a fire and spent a couple of hours singing and praying and sharing. I found it so restoring to do something so simple and spiritual, to be away from buildings and the way we usually "do meetings"

Looking into the fire it reminded me of how, after Jesus had risen, he built a small fire and cooked breakfast for his disciples on the beach. If I had wanted to show myself to people I would have gone in for some undeniable signs and wonders- like splitting a few mountains in two or sending a legion of angels and a few thunderbolts. Jesus chose to do something simple and take the time to restore the broken hearts of the disciples. Pentecost came later, and then were the signs and wonders and power of God.

For our own lives, it made me think how we need to know Jesus in the simple things, the humble things, to have a deep relationship with him in our own hearts. Then later, building on that foundation, we can move in the signs and wonders he has promised......

representing Jesus

On Sunday afternoon I looking through a book that contained various pictures of Jesus painted by famous artists. What I found was actually quite sad, though the "blond hair and blue eyes" version of Jesus was (thankfully) missing from this collection, I still found the pictures showed a rather weak and feminine Jesus. A couple of the pictures could have been a Pears soap advert, and some showing the adolescent Jesus definitely looked to me like an 18 year old girl with long wavy hair.

Now, what I am saying is not to knock the great artists, but it did make me think about how we represent Jesus.

To me Jesus was fully man and fully God, and we should not be scared of either of these "identities". As a man I think he would have been strong. I think he would have been a man of emotion and passion. As fully God he would have had insight, compassion and love far beyond what a human could understand, but it would have been sensitivity with strength. Jesus interacted with normal people and was not vague, aloof or untouchable.

There are of course no pictures from the time of Jesus to show us what he looked like so, whatever image we come up with, it can only be speculation. What we do have is his church which is made of up people created in God's image, is made up of people filled with the Holy Spirit, is made up of people being transformed more and more into Jesus likeness. So for the world around us, we are Jesus.

So, does Jesus look like this?

encouragement

We were talking on Tuesday about how the Holy Spirit is called the Comforter and how we all need to be comforted and encouraged sometimes.

I was wondering if it is just 'cos we are weak that we need to be encouraged, but then I realised that God the Father encouraged Jesus while he was on earth, and if Jesus needed encouraging by God then I sure do too!

God encouraged Jesus
Angels sent to strengthen Jesus

This is love

Am just thinking about how amazing love is.

A friend of mine had their birthday recently, and received a flowery card with a long verse inside in flowing writing. The person who sent it to her signed it something like this "I really do love you, not like the sentimental mush in this card"

That's the key really, people want love and reduce it to commercial slush, to a vague fuzzy concept, to something too weak to lean on and so easily discarded when a better offer comes along.

This is love

Love is patient- it has time and will wait to be received or reciproated
Love is kind- even when that kindness means being tough
It does not envy- it doesn't mind if the loved is prefered to the lover
It does not boast- it is prepared to love with no-one ever knowing
It is not proud- and therefore does not get offended or clamour for attention
It is not rude- it is sensitive
It is not self seeking- it is totally self denying
It is not easily angered- it sees the destructiveness of anger and would rather be wronged than destroy
It keeps no record of wrongs- it forgives as completely as it has been forgiven by Jesus
Love does not delight in evil- it does not get a kick about hearing of another's misfortune
But rejoices with the truth- it lives in the light and loves to see others find that light
It always protects- it really cares for well being of the beloved
It always trusts- it is not shaken 'cos it's source and anchor is in God
It always hopes- it has un wavering faith in something better
It always perseveres- it does not rise and fall with moods or emotions but continues steadfastly and reliably, even when there is every reason to give up.


Love is so amazing. Our love is so imperfect. But we have LOVE Himself living in us, and that is why we can dare to have a go, and take the risk, and get it wrong, and be hurt, and learn, and be healed, and go on, and grow more like Him who loves us eternally and beyond all measure

Resentment

I have been thinking a lot recently about resentment, because I realise how easy it is to get resentful over little things and then you end up getting stressed and bitter 'cos it goes round and round in your head and so out of proportion that you are ready to kill the person who left the kettle empty (or whatever minor issue it was).

Getting resentful means you can't pray or worship 'cos you keep thinking about how you have been wronged. It totally robs you of any sense of God and once you get resentful about one thing its generally not too long before Everything and Everyone is acting only to upset you.

On Sunday morning all the pondering got knocked into shape with a quote from John 3v30 (RSV)
This refers to when Jesus came to John to be baptised, which signalled the end of John's ministry and the beginning of Jesus'. John knew his role was to announce the coming of the Messiah, and when he saw Jesus and recognised him as the Messiah, John was prepared to see his mission had been accomplished and step aside.

So... what has that got to do with petty irritations and resentments?

Basically, if I am being petty and resentful then I am thinking I am bigger than I really am; that I am more important than those around me- which I am not; that everyone else should be thinking of me and my needs and wants- which of course they don't.

This is a prayer of Mother Teresa about it all:

Deliver me, O Jesus

From the desire of being loved
From the desire of being extolled
From the desire of being honoured
From the desire of being praised
From the desire of being preferred
From the desire of being consulted
From the desire of being approved
From the desire of being popular.

From the fear of being humiliated
From the fear of being despised
From the fear of suffering rebukes
From the fear of being slandered
From the fear of being forgotten
From the fear of being wronged
From the fear of being ridiculed
From the fear of being suspected.

And, Jesus, grant me the peace
To desire that others might be more loved than I
That others might be more esteemed than I
That in the opinion of the world
Others may increase and I may decrease
That others may be chosen and I set aside
That others may be preferred to me in everything
That others may become holier than I
Provided I become as holy as I should.

She knew the dangers of getting too self important, and the beauty of Godly humility

Does that mean we should all lie down and get walked over? Not at all. But that's another topic!

What if...

I went for a walk recently with a group of friends, and one of them asked me "what if we have got it all wrong? what if there is no God and when we dies that is it?"

One answer to that is from CS Lewis book the Silver Chair. You might not know the story but at this point two children and a Marshwiggle have just rescued the Prince from the Witches underground castle, and then she turns up and tried to bewitch them into believing there is no other world to go back to. This is Puddleglum's response:

.

..Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things- trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it,. We're just babies making up a game, is you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play world that licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if the two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long I should think, but that's small loss if the world's as a dull a place as you say.”

My answer to the question is that I would live this life even if there is no eternal life to look forward to. Looking at it from a totally non-spiritual basis, if the only thing that raises mankind above animals is morality, and the only moral purpose for life is to do good to others, then I still do not know a better way to "do good" than the way I am living.

As an individual I might not make any great contrubutions, but as a group of people working together as the church I see the "lost ones" of our society restored and finding value as a person, worth in society and healing in their souls.

I could be an ecological martyr- recycle all my rubbish, eat only organic fair-traded food, refuse to shop in supermarkets etc but I think I would jsut get side-tracked in doing so. It is possible to champion such causes and still be essentially a selfish/hurt/unloving/unhealed person.

I totally believe that it is only in God, through Jesus Christ, that people are able to become who they are really meant to be. When God sent Jesus to die on the cross he was not just on a rescue mission- sending out a lifeboat to populate heaven. God intends us to start our relationship with Him now, here on earth, to give us what He always intended us to have in Eden, to make us fully who He wanted us to be.

Thy Mighty Love O God Constraineth Me

Thy mighty love, O God, constraineth me,
Like some strong tide it presseth on its way,
Seeking a channel in my earth bound soul,
Seeking to sweep all barriers away.


Shall I not yield to that constraining power?
Shall I not say, O tide of love, flow in?
Thy love O God at last hath conquered me,
Life cannot be as it hath hither been.


Break through my nature, mighty, heavenly love,
Clear every avenue of thought and brain,
Flood my affections, purify my will,
Let nothing but Thine own pure life remain.


Thus wholly mastered and possessed by God,
Forth from my life, spontaneous and free,
Shall flow a stream of tenderness and grace,
Loving, because God loved, eternally.


This hymn is by Emily May Grimes.
It inspires me because it talks about being completely taken over by God, and surely that is the way it should be? I always feel uncomfortable with the "God in my pocket" type of God who fits in with my lifestyle and does not change me. God, to me is totally overwhelming and awesome. God is also one who loves us completely and our experience of His love should be as overpowering as He is Almighty, it should not be warm and cosy.


Loving God and being loved by God causes us to change, he draws us into more and more of His nature so we become pure as He is pure.


The other thing about the love of God is that he does overwhelm and posess us. Some people are scared of the idea of this kind of thing, they want to stay in control, but by being out of our control and into His we find an amazing freedom we can never know any other way. It is like we suddenly become everything we were meant to be. Like a caged animal let out of its controlled environment into the wild.


Last February I went for a walk along a river in the countryside, (that is I wore wellingtons and walked along the river itself- not on the bank). The force of the water and the sense of power yet peace made me think of this hymn. It made me consider how much of my life is motivated and controlled by the force of God (the river) and how much is controlled by my own self-will (walking against the flow). It makes me think how as a fishes home environment is the river, our "home environment" can be the presence of God 'cos the Holy Spirit is with us and in us and brings God to us- even in the everyday stuff.


Most of my life I am probably a million miles from this kind of ideal love. But it is still my ideal and my aim. I am probably happiest when I get away from people and into the open with God- but I don't do it enough!

Favourite

This is one of my favourite bits in the Bible from 2 Philippians
It talks about how Jesus chose to be humble, and so God has been able to honour him. It shows us the way is to be humble like Jesus. It talks about how Jesus who was equal with God chose to become human like us, to go through what we go through, and to end up dying to take the blame for us.

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father


That's the kind of person I can follow!